Offline Dating is No Better Than Online

Valentines Day. Bounce Holborn.

My friends and I arrive at Bounce at around 7.30pm. Scanning the room, it’s ram packed with women. *Sigh* It’s not going to be one of THOSE nights is it? 🙄

As the evening went on.. more men started to trickle in. There was one guy who was a spitting image of Jamie Laing from Made in Chelsea. Being the sassy lady I am, I walked up to him and was like “has anyone told you you look like that Jamie off MIC” he’s always been a guilty pleasure of mine – won’t lie 😉, lmao he must get it all the time because all he did was roll his eyes and replied ye, told many times. Anyway this guys chat was so dry and boring – on to the next one…

Let’s just say anything past 9.30pm was and is an absolute blur. All I remembered was speaking to this guy who was maybe Turkish maybe Cypriot….

Next Morning

I hear my alarm go off and with my face buried into my pillow, still drunk, I look at my phone. Oh my god. I need to get up for work. How am I going to make it through the day?

So as I drag myself onto the Met line, I take out my phone out of my bag to read:

Already from that first message I should have just left it, he was already just looking for a shag that night and to be honest he might have gone home with someone that same night, who knows – but people get horny when they’re drunk, I thought I’d give him the benefit of doubt.

It just shows when you have that slight hope that offline dating will be better and have better quality guys looking for something other than a shag that it seems like it’s now just the norm of hookup culture.

The other guy

So the other guy whatsapped later that day. Couldn’t for the life of me remember what he was called, thank god Whatsapp helped me out. Now call me a bitch, but opening with

Hey.. did you get home ok?

That would have been a legit opener if he sent me that the same night, but 24 hours later? really? In 24 hours I could have been abducted and be in a lake by now. Lmao sorry but please – I can’t deal with boring chat. Us women have to think of good openers on Bumble – so step it up.

So as the boring chat continued, I asked him what he did for work. Now I know I’m going to get a bit of stick for this for being a job snob but he said he was an executive chauffeur. Not being funny but I’m ambitious, I’m about to start my own business.

If I’m going to start dating someone they have to be someone who drives me to be the best I can, and it’s probably because I had recently dated an entrepreneur who had that same passion and enthusiasm that I have for business which is why I won’t settle for any less. Thinking selfishly, an executive driver is hardly going to do that are they?

And there I ghosted him.

As much as I moan about having been ghosted in the past, it’s just easier than saying you’re not that interested as when you had hazily met after 4 Aperol Spritzes.

I’m so over dating at the moment. Online / Offline, it’s just not happening and I’m just not feeling it. I can no longer be bothered to put effort into finding someone and the spare time I do have is to focus on my business.

Be sure to check back when I let you know more details about my business… it’s a dating business 😉

Patrizia 💕


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