Mango Chilli

The other night I decided to meet up with this guy I had been chatting to for a while. Dem. He suggested getting drinks at Dirty Martini in Covent Garden.

He was so my type, and actually looked so much better in real life too. Dark features, a cheeky Essex guy with the most gorgeous long eye lashes.

Instantly we had a spark. we went to get a drink and I could feel the electricity as he went to brush my arm to ask what I wanted to drink. I asked for my usual, an espresso martini, and we were escorted to the area he had reserved. He insinuated for me to sit next to him, and the small chat was out of the way in probably the first 3 sips of my drink.

We got another drink, this time getting the mango chilli martini. With the initial chat I could instantly tell he was hoping to get some later that night. He was now explaining explicitly what his intentions were.. let’s just say they weren’t PG.

“I’ve got something in my eye” I go to sort out an eyelash out and and from the moment I touched my eye it felt like it was on fire.

Oh my god.

Squinting my eye,



“Shit I need water in my eye now”!!

Bloodshot red eye with mascara tears streaming down my whole face, instead of helping me, he had his hand on my waist whispering “you’re so sexy”

lmaoooooo I was like “babe, look at me, I’ve got mascara everywhere, can you please just get me some tissues and water?”

It was definitely an ego boost, but come on. 🤣🤣



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