Dating Toilet Etiquette

Is it ever ok to go to the loo in front of your partner?

It’s something that really freaks me out and don’t know how I’ll cope when I’m with someone. Some women have different patterns, some go often, some go once a few days. But when is the right time to be able to go to the toilet and just do what you need to do without panicking they’ll run out the door?

See my guy friends are hilarious. They all have the assumption that women poo like rabbits in little cute pellets. Erm hello. Wake up, we are humans. Just like when you need to do what you need to do, we do too.

I remember with one of my exes, as most women do, you want to make them believe you don’t poo – you are a fairy who just magically doesn’t ever need to go. Until you run to the front of your door urgently needing to go.

The other day I must has eaten something a bit dodgy as my stomach was going crazy. Then it dawned me. Shit. What do women in relationships or are in that phase of dating to getting into a relationship do when they need a poo?!?

I’ll always remember my friend’s story at university. She was dating this really cool and hip musician, she was in awe of him. They went on a weekend away to Scotland and her main panic wasn’t what she was going to wear or what to go see, but “HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO NOT BE ABLE TO POO ALL WEEKEND!?????”

We would laugh in hysterics every time she told this story, but let’s just say – she managed to keep it in all weekend where she felt she was going green from all the toxins, probably going back into her blood that on the drive back she got him to urgently stop at the service station so she could poo in peace and away from him. Finally. She said it was the best feeling in the world.

It’s like in that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie accidentally lets a fart slip when she’s in bed with Big. Every time I watch that episode I cringe for her.

See we have 2 types of women:

The Miranda (realists) –

“You farted you’re human”

and then we have

The Samantha (The Idealist) however, who responds with –

“Honey, you’re a woman, and men don’t like women to be human. We aren’t suppose to fart, to use tampons, or have hair in places we shouldn’t.”

So I thought it would be helpful, for other singles also wondering about this, as to what other women in longer term relationships, engaged or married have done. How long did they wait?

“It was a month in and we weren’t together officially yet. I stayed over his and the urge came – thank god he had to get to work super early the morning after”

“So, to get around the awkward issue I popped out of the room saying I needed to ‘da bian’, my fiancé, bf at the time, didn’t have a clue what I meant. When questioned what da bian meant I went on to explain it means poo in Chinese, or literally ‘big toilet’ lol He (luckily) found it hilarious and we still use Chinese saying to this day!”

“I never pooed in front of my ex, we’re not wild animals. I did poo, but secretly. I was a poo ninja.”

“I’ve been with my fiance for years and I do it at work, I can’t be pooing at home!”

“VIPoo – have you heard of it? LIFESAVER”

Surely, when you’re with someone, you should be able to be yourself 100%?

What are your thoughts? When is it ok to fart/poo in front of your significant other, if ever? leave your comments, I’d love to hear!



1 Comment

  1. Chloe
    March 15, 2018 / 9:57 pm

    I think if you’re that it’s never going to be okay farting and doing other human things in front of your partner, you’re probably with the wrong person. My boyfriend and I live together and it’s kind of unavoidable not to go to the loo in front of each other because sometimes you’re just bursting for a wee when your SO is in the shower. You’re a human, you piss and poop and fart and if the person you’re with can’t accept that, that’s bizarre IMO! I definitely think that this opinion I have has been built with maturity and also from being in a LTR! That’s just my opinion on the matter, and I’m talking a few years down the line. The first time I farted in front of my boyfriend I was so embarrassed but we both just laughed it off. 😂

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