Sometimes it takes a number of fuckboys to make you realise you need to take a break from everything to focus on you, to re-evaluate who you are and to rebuild that self-love, sass and confidence.
I really believe in working on what makes you happy, and it can be a number of things – whether it’s going on a holiday, going for a massage, treating yourself to a manicure, a cheeky chocolate truffle from Hotel Chocolat, reading a book in the garden with a glass of Malbec. Be whatever it is, find little things that makes you happy and do them often.
The Secret by Rhonda Byrne was most probably the catalyst in my life this year and for which I want to talk about happiness alignment.
The basic principle is that you attract your thoughts and energy. Think positive thoughts, and you’ll attract wealth, health, and love. Think negative thoughts, and you’ll attract poverty, illness, and loneliness.
I won’t lie, I was sceptical at first. It instructs you to manifest what you want and visualise you being there. Having read articles that proclaimed “THE SECRET HAS CHANGED MY LIFE!” I decided to ignore my cheesy initial thoughts of it and gave it a go. Day by day I started writing down what it was I wanted, why I felt down and what I needed to do to change things and over the last couple of months it has all started to align.
What I wanted was to feel happy again.
My happiness in the work place had dipped and so my energy in my personal life began to dip too, and because I was unhappy in both of those I began to comfort eat – it was a vicious cycle, and an alignment of energy. Negativity was attracting negativity.
Frustrated with the long commute from one end to the other end of London, I found myself grumpy often. I was tired of the commute, tired of failed dates. All of this had to change.
I then started to take on the second recommendation: visualising the change, I started to think of myself at my best career self. I started investing in more smart clothes that I felt super sexy in and came to work positive. As much as I had reached the point of getting to the next level – I was also very humble and grateful for having had the opportunity I had had. Then three weeks into reading and digesting The Secret, exerting happiness and positive energy, out of the blue a new and exciting job opportunity was offered to me.
Then, days into my new job, still radiating with confidence, happiness and drive, out of nowhere, a guy I dated previously got in touch. It’s early days, and I don’t want to jinx it, but he’s pretty great.
Energy attraction can also be applied to dating and friendships. You want to surround yourself around radiators – those who will help you to be the best version of you, who will support you and cheer you on. I had to cut a few drainers from my life because they were so negative, they were desperate to get into relationships and that energy wasn’t good to be around. I was a flamingo among pigeons, I wasn’t desperate to get into relationships – but being around that environment of constant swiping left and right, made me start to think like them.
This is definitely the case when people are like “yeah I’m looking for a boyfriend” or “I really want a relationship”. Calm down. It oozes desperation. Like a meerkat in a bar/ club scanning the fresh meat. I don’t know anything else that can make a Woman look as desperate as that. Or starting to do hobbies because you think you might meet a guy through it. It will stink of desperado.com
So a piece of advice and my key learning from the Law of Attraction – Be happy and it will attract good things. Sometimes when you’re not even looking.