An open letter to the girl who’s single and waiting.

I’m currently reading Laura Jane Williams’ book Becoming and boy oh boy it’s a good one. It’s the type of book where you’re so engrossed and miss tube stops, well that happened to me last week and I ended up in Amersham facepalm*. In the book she writes a letter to herself, and I have never resonated with something so much in my entire life. As a single girl, not settling and waiting it out for the right one, I wanted to share snippets from the letter because if you too are single, and are kinda on the ‘I give up’ vibe, read this, please. And thank you, Laura Jane.

Dubrovnik, Croatia 2018

Dear you,

Single doesn’t mean less-than. Single is Whole. You are everything now, in this moment: fully formed, a force to be reckoned with, all you need to be – and will ever need to be – in one perfect soul. One is a round number, remember.

Also remember that you are enough.

You are complete

You are loved.

You’re not a victim.

You’re the heroine of your own life.

Act like it.

They’re on their way. Your person. It might not be today, though – in fact, it’s probably not today, or even tomorrow – and that’s exactly how it should be. You’re not with the person of your life because you are the person of your life. They are extra, It will happen when it happens. But it will happen.

Don’t sit and wait. Don’t simply pass time until they arrive. You are worth a thousand more dreams.

Becoming Laura Jane Williams

Revel in your adventure. Laugh at your worry that you thought this might not ever happen for you.

This was always going to happen for you. You were always going to go a little longer, a little bit further, alone, without them, in order to be ready for the love coming your way. Don’t, for one second, think it might not happen for you. Don’t build that kind of energy around yourself, because then that person might miss you.

Santorini, Greece 2017

Own the fact that you are so in love with your life that the only thing better than having these experiences alone would be to have these experiences to share with somebody who matters.

Like attracts like: When you say you are happier to be single, the universe will take your word. Make sure the universe knows you’re doing your best to become the person you need to be. For them. For yourself. For the love that will be your life.

And then one day, at the grocery store or a friends birthday, at a work function or at a wedding, you’ll know. They will say hello, and it won’t feel like the first time.

Your one will embrace you, and they will thank you. They will thank you for holding on in there, for waiting, for not settling with something less-than when they were right around your corner, prepared to be your more-than.

They’ll say thank you for trusting that it was they who would come. And every last moment of doubt will disappear like a cloudless vapour.


Berlin, Germany 2016

You can buy the book Becoming on the below link on Amazon.

When the man Laura Jane Williams thought she would wed dumped her and married her best friend, she was devastated. Empty. Drinking too much, sleeping around. She wanted control. To grab life by the balls. To live boldly. Resolving that life couldn’t go on as it was Laura declared a year-long vow of celibacy as she slowly put the pieces of herself back together.

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